The heart remembers
by DreamyBear
Summary: Beckett's ex-groom appears as a husband of a victim, and as the main suspect of the case. How will Castle react to that...?  Despite that it's kind of a Beckett-centered fanfiction.
1. Pilot

**Author's Note: I own nothing, except some of the characters. I'm hungarian, so maybe you'll find mistakes in my grammar or else. However, I tried my best. Hope you'll like it!**

'Kate! Kate... It's okay...' he tried to comfort her, but she was just sitting there, gasping. Trying to scream, but no sound left her mouth. Her face was covered with blood drops and her hands, her clothes were bloody too. Her eyes reflected that she was petrified with fear, like never before.

Castle embraced her, held her thight, but there was no use. Detective Kate Beckett was just sitting there like a statue, and she couldn't move or percieve the world surrounding her... Though the bystanders and police officers shortly deluged the crime scene.

She splashed some more water onto her face, then looked into the mirror. Her eyes were a dark shade of red, and gloomy circles surrounded them. The freezing drops made her skin hurt, but she just washed her face again and again.

It didn't change. The same haggard woman looked back at her from the mirror. Haggardness? It didn't really matter... But the fear... The fear holding her heart like an iron grip, in the way she couldn't fight it.

Her hands were shaking. She looked down at them and tried to concentrate.

_'Come on, Kate... Buck up...'_

Another useless try to convince herself that she's strong and she can get over it... She couldn't. Her eyes had filled with tears and she flopped down on the floor. She pulled up her legs, clasped them with her arms and cried - in the women's room at the 12's.

**Two days earlier**

'Who's the victim?'

'Charlene Trouché, 27.' Esposito informed his entering colleauges. A beautiful young blondie was lying on the ground, covered with a bedsheet. Her lips were bloody and surrounded with glass splinters. She was staring at the ceiling with her blue, once in the past charmingly deep eyes - they were empty now, only had the last sparkle of mortal fear reflecting in them.

'Cause of death?' asked Beckett quietly. The sight was quite shocking.

'Suffocation?' Castle asked as he noticed the victim's skin color.

'Not simply suffocation. Someone pushed a glass down her throat.' Lanie explained. Beckett knitted her eyebrows. Castle was horrified.

'Such a beautiful girl, dying like this...' he mumbled.

'I thought you like interesting cases. Cases with some plus...' Ryan mentioned, but there was some kind of shudder hiding in his voice.

'Well, it's too much plus here. Poor girl...' for about a second all of them lost in the sight of such a rare kind of cruelty. Something special about the victim made everyone staring at her, even after her death...

'Closest relative?' Beckett's voice made her colleagues come back to earth.

'Adam Deston. Her husband.' Lanie informed her.

'What? Her husband?'

'You know him?' the writer concluded it from the woman's reaction.

'Oh, well, pretty much... He was my groom.' as soon as it slipped out her mouth she already regretted it.

'What?' the three men in the room stared at her with open mouths.

'Your groom? You had a groom? How didn't I know that?' Castle freaked out.

'W... Why? There are so many things you don't know about me yet.' Beckett told him.

'Well, Daring... You won't get away with this one!' Lanie stood up from the body. Four pair of curious eyes were studying her face so she finally gave in. She took a deep breath and started.

'I got to know him at the Academy. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Then three days later he disappeared and I never saw him again. Big story... Can we focus on the case?' she gabbled then left to ask one of the unis if they found something useful - or pretty much to get away from questions.

'I think she's hiding something.' Castle turned to his colleauges.

' Of couse she is! She won't confess about her former love life in front of three fellas.' Lanie told.

'Eh, you're right...' Ryan agreed.

'Hey, let's make a pact... Anyone finds anything, tells the others. Okay?' the writer looked around, rising an eyebrow. 'What, you don't wanna know...?'

'I'm in.' Esposito was the first to join the 'pact.' The others shortly agreed as well, then Beckett appeared behind Castle.

'We still have a case to solve.' she said. Deep silence. She looked around, it was obvious that her colleauges were hiding something, but she decided not to ask.

'Are you sure that your... Pretty close relationship with the victim's husband won't bother Motgomery?' Rick asked Kate as they left the crime scene.

'First, we're not in a close relatinship. Second, what Montgomery won't know it won't hurt him.' she answered and tried not to look in the writers sparkly blue eyes.

'You mean...?'

'I do. You won't...?'

'No.'

'Right.' Beckett shut it off and put on her black sunglasses to avoid looking into Castle's eyes.

The writer raised his eyebrows and tried to put the pieces together. There was something brewing about this ex-groom guy... And it was enough to make Kate hiding the truth from Montgomery... This case was getting more and more complicated...

But Richard Castle decided to dig and find out what's going on with this gloomy groom - whether Beckett likes it or not.

Well, he was pretty sure that she won't...

oOo

'Beckett?'

'What?' she looked up from the paperwork flooding her desk. She was drinking coffee, and acted like nothing _special_ was going on...

'Nothing... Just...' Castle tried to formulate his question sensibly. Meaning how the hell could it be that the detective is not showing even the smallest sign of anxiousness? Her ex, who had left three days after their engagement is about to appear as a husband of an extremely beautiful young victim, and Beckett is not even upset.

Ryan entered the room.

'Deston is waiting in the interrogation room.' he reported. Kate stood up smiling, taking the cup of coffee with her then left - like nothing special was going on...

'Mr. Deton?' she sat down.

'Kate.'

'Adam.' he was a tall, handsome man with dark hair and flashing green eyes. His voice was calm. For a few seconds they were just staring into each others eyes, while Castle and Ryan were observing the interrogation breathlessly from the other side of the mirror.

'Why am I here? It's about Charlene, right?' Deston asked.

'Exactly. So you know, that she's dead. From who?'

'They warned me.'

'Who?'

'The killer.' a sparkle appeared in Beckett's eyes - like when the foxhound finds a lead. Adam put an evidence bag onto the table, containing a cell phone.

'The number is in the recieved calls list. It was a man. Not blackmailing, not asking. Just told that "your wife has to die". That's all.' he explained in a freezing calm tone.

'Where were you...'

'When the crime was committed?' Deston finished her sentence. 'I don't have an alibi if that's your point. Half an hour before it happened I was with Charlene. We were making love.' Kate kept a stiff upper lip. 'Then I went home and got some sleep.'

Both kept quiet. The silent duel of eyes... There's no specialist on earth who could tell what was going on between them.

'How have you met?' Beckett asked, then quickly cleared her throat and added: 'The victim?'

'We met in Marseille, on an exhibition. We fell in love, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Two days ago we came back to New York. I rented a hotel room for her.'

'From what? How did you have the money?'

'I'm out of a work right now. But I have some savings.'

'From what?'

'Obviously the police has nothing to do with that. But I can present you a detailed biography by tomorrow, if you want, _Kate._' Beckett stayed calm.

'There's no need.' she said then after a few silent moments she stood up and walked to the door. 'Thank you. We finished here.'

As she closed the door behind she met Castle.

'What was that?' he asked studying Kate's still vacant face.

'Nothing.' she said. Then her eyes met with the charming blue ones staring at her. 'I mean nothing you have something to do with.' she tried to leave but Castle stopped her.

'Beckett. Kate...' as the woman turned around with eyes burning of anger, he quickly let her hand go. 'What's going on?'

'Look, Castle! This time, you don't try to explain me or get anything out of me, because it won't work. Did I make myself clear?' the writer slowly nodded.

'And Montgomery?'

'He has nothing to do with this. He won't stop me. He _can't_ stop me.' Rick looked deeply in her eyes, hoping he can find something that will answer at least some of his questions. He was worried. But he found nothing, except maybe one little flash... A sparkle... A glint that said _'I'm sorry'_ in the brown eyes of the detective, but it has come and gone as Kate turned around and walked away on the corridor.


	2. Shades of the past

**A/N: I've updated this chapter to put in some oOo-s to separate the parts. Enjoy! (And reviews are always welcome!)**

'Hi, dad!' Alexis kissed the writer on the cheek as he entered. 'Is there something wrong?'

'Yeah...' Castle answered, not really listening. He sat down on a chair next to the bar counter.

'What's it?' the girl asked and sat next to him.

'I don't know.'

'What do you mean, you don't know?'

'The whole thing is a riddle...'

'Dad. Dad!' she waved with her hand in front of his face. 'If you're not making this clear, it will be a riddle that I'm sure I can't solve for you.'

'The case what we're working on led us to Beckett's ex-groom.' Castle explained finally.

'What? She was about to marry? When?'

'And this is just the top of the iceberg.' he added. 'Our victim is the guy's wife. Well, she was... But he wasn't even surprised about her death. Neither about that Kate got the case. I'm pretty sure there's some more going on here than what meets the eye...'

'This is muddled. What did Beckett say?' Alexis asked as she took a sip of her orange juice.

'She said that It's none of my business and that it's her riddle to solve...' he answered quietly.

'So? What are you going to do?'

'I don't know yet.' he shrugged and took his daughter's juice.

'Ugh... Did you eat any meat today?' she asked.

'Yeah, why?'

'Then you drink that.' Alexis pointed a finger at the orange drink.

'What, you've became a vegetarian?' Castle rose an eyebrow.

'If you'd have seen that movie what my biology teacher showed me today, you'd became a veggie too, believe me...' she explained then walked away. Rick followed her with his eyes confusedly and drank the juice down.

oOo

'The weapon is made of thin glass. The killer must have held it with a towel or put on gloves, not to cut himself. Or herself... I didn't find any fingerprints.' Lanie reported.

'That's all we have?' Beckett asked. She looked frustrated and upset, but much more calm than in the morning.

'There was a ring on her finger, but it's gone.' she added, showing the marks on the victim's hand. 'This Deston-boy pretty much deserves his jail cell... I can tell you Sweetheart, if my groom escapes three days after our engagement, he's a dead man by the next day...' Lanie remarked.

'He doesn't deserve that.' Kate said and she walked off.

Castle looked at her back disappearing behind the door, and he sighed.

'I promised that I won't tell on her to Montgomery... But I'm worried now. You?' he asked Lanie.

'What? She didn't tell Montgomery that this scamp was her groom?' her eyes widened.

'No.'

'Then how does he know?' Lanie asked.

'He knows?' it was time for Rick to get surprised.

'Sure, and he gave her a free hand in this case.'

'It looks like our Captain knows some more than I thought...' Castle said and he left to find Montgomery.

'Hey, you still remember our little pact, right?' Lanie yelled after him and the writer nodded.

oOo

'What can I do for you?'

'It's Beckett.' Castle gazed at the Captain, who leaned against his desk.

'As always...' he mumbled. 'I have nothing more than what you already know.'

'But what am I supposed to do?' Rick asked. He didn't like this 'turn-out-of-the-blue-groom' thing. He had already thought of a few ways of torturing the guy if things would turn wrong...

'This is a game. But only Beckett knows the rules. Unfortunately, we can't really help.'

'So you're expecting me to just sit here and wait till...' he couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't exactly know what will be the outcome but he was quite sure that he didn't want to wait until it happens...

'Listen.' Montgomery started. 'There'll be a point when Kate will need you around her, and only you... Be there for her!' he looked seriously at the writer. He never thought that Rick will ever turn to him for help. Though this whole case made him as much upset as Castle, there was a _little difference..._ 'That's all you can do now.' he added.

The writer just stared at him. He clearly didn't like the role of a spectator when Beckett could get herself in danger...

oOo

'Kate.' a man stepped out of the dark. His green eyes were flashing lights in the night. Beckett just stood in front of him and stared at his face.

'You killed an innocent women.' she said slowly.

'It was the only way.' he answered. 'You know I'm not a good guy.' she still gazed at him with a cold look.

'You've found them, right?'

'Yes.' Kate nodded her head and started to study the clouds on the grey night sky. 'You?'

'Not yet...' she told and looked at him again, trying to find comfort in the green sparkling eyes.

'I still need some time.' said Deston after a moment of silence.

'You know I can't give you any.' she replied narrowly. The freezing look what had been in her eyes during the interrogation completely disappeared. Instead the numerous questions reflected in them, which she knew she couldn't ask.

'I would end this if I could. Trust me, Kate...' a gentle shiver went thorugh her body as Adam said her name. 'But I can't. I can't get off this track...' he softly touched Beckett's face with a finger.

At first she lost in the feeling, then something crossed her mind and she pulled away. That question has been bothering her since they parted years ago.

'Was I a part of your plan too?' she asked with straight look on her face, though she was a bit afraid of the answer.

'No.' Adam replied and looked deeply into her eyes to express his honesty. 'I have already loved you before this whole thing started.'

Beckett endured his look for a while then she turned his face away. This conversation ripped up old sores that she never wanted to feel again - for various reasons. Then Deston piped up again, touching her chin, making her look at him.

'Kate... You know it wouldn't have worked out.' she nodded slowly, biting her lower lip and started to smile.

'I already knew when I said _yes_...' he smiled too.

'I missed you.'

'There's nothing on earth that I want more than saying that I didn't...' she started and Adam stared at her with impatient eyes. Then she added: 'But I can't.'

He slowly leaned in with a smile and kissed her. Kate closed her eyes and deepened the kiss...

After they pulled away, Adam whispered something in her ear:

'My deepest regret is that I gave up true love for revenge... _Don't make the same mistake!'_ he tucked her hair behind her ear and piped up in a more formal tone:

'Perhaps you'll be the one to finish what I started. Would you...?' Beckett hesitated for a while then answered with a question:

'How much time you need?' Deston started to smile and gratefully took the detective's hand.

'One day. Till tomorrow afternoon.' he told and Beckett sighed. 'Be careful, Kate!' he said goodbye with these words looking deeply in her eyes then left in the darkness of the night.

And Katherine Beckett was just standing there in the park, staring at the little thing imperceptibly placed into her hand - it was a ring. She closed it in her fist smiling, then took a deep breath and piped up, like she was talking to the surrounding trees and bushes.

'Castle! How much have you heard?'


	3. The two ways

**A/N: Here's the third chapter, I really hope you'll like it! I'm really lookig forward your comments! ^^ (Sorry for slow uploads, I'm translating the story from hungarian and I don't have really much time...=/)**

_'Castle! How much have you heard?'_

'I'm sorry.' he stepped out from the bush that he used as a shelter before. Rick slowly walked towards the woman, he felt confused. But he was sure that after he'd seen how emotional Beckett got from this meeting, he didn't want to make her even sadder. He swallowed all the anger and hatred that he had towards Adam, and repeated: 'I'm sorry...'

'No, I'm sorry.' she told, surprising Castle.

'What? Why? You wanted me to stay away from this case, and I...' he started, but Beckett cut in.

'I don't really know, what I wanted, Castle.' the writer studied her brown eyes - the sparkling entrance which was hiding all her feelings and thoughts, and this magic door looked a bit more open now, than other times...

However Rick would preferred to open that door himself, not just peep through the little gap that someone else made there, like some kind of voyeur.

'You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. I understand that...' he started again, but couldn't finish the sentence - again.

'No Castle. I owe you this... Both of you.' Beckett said. Rick still had some bad feelings about the man turning out of the blue and making the detective act like this... But the fact that Kate was ready to share another piece of her gloomy past with him - it warmed his fastly beating heart.

So he put on a smile and Kate did the same. Then they walked away in the moonlight, with hands in pockets, together.

oOo

'I got to know Adam on the Academy. We had a lot of things in common... By the time I didn't care much about what was happening around me, I only wanted one thing.' Kate stopped for a moment. Castle knew very well what kind of _thing_ is that she was talking about... 'He was the same. His parents were cops, and the day we met... It was the second anniversary of their murder.'

The writer felt a cold wave breezing through his body. He felt really lucky in the moment, that he had an almost perfect family supporting him. Though working with Beckett he faced the death of people day by day, it still surprised him how cruel the Fate could be some times...

'One day I found that I trust him. And that our past was not the only thing bindig us together. It was more...' she smiled. 'Then my father said something: _"Don't waste your life, Katie." _And I listened to him. So we got together.'

Her eyes wandered up to Castle's deep blue ones, and as she stared at him, some strange parallel got into her mind.

_I trust him... And by his side, I'm not wasting my life..._

As this little thought crossed her mind, just for a moment, she got lost in the writer's eyes.

_Well, this is not the same after all... _- she tried to deflect her thoughts in some other way.

'I started to live... Maybe too much. So the day he showed up and asked me to marry him, I knew we'd gone too far.' she sighed. Castle was quite interested in the sequence, it was the question bothering him the most:

'Why did you say _yes_?' he asked.

'I felt like this was some kind of pact ensuring that we'll have each other... When that moment comes... When we close our pasts.' it was virtually visible how her heart was beating more and more heavier.

'The moment when you find your mother's killer...' he summed up what she said, and Kate nodded slowly.

'I was like a little girl, floating above pink clouds with unicorns and rainbows... For three days. Then he came and I knew he'd made a hard decision.' she felt like her heart just turned into a bar of lead. Castle was afraid to ask the question:

'What kind of decision...?'

'He'd choosen the other side.' she could see the confusion in Castle's eyes so she went on. 'There are two ways of getting close to a criminal. Being a cop, or being a criminal yourself.' as she looked up, it was clear that she had anger and pain bursting in her soul.

All Castle wanted that moment was to hug and comfort the detective...  
>And all Kate wanted was to find solace in the writers strong arms and get rid of the strangling feelings through some sparkling teardrops...<p>

Instead she smiled sadly and went on with the story:

'I hated him. It took years for me to understand why he did that... And that in his place, I'd did the same.' she stared at the little golden ring with a small red stone in it. 'I gave back his ring. He said it's not over yet.'

'And you believed him?' Castle cut in, though he didn't really know why.

'No.' she replied. 'But he said, it's not over yet, and next time we'll meet means that he... He found them... His parents' killer...' at the end she sounded very silent. She felt her tears gathering into her eyes, so she looked up into the blue sparkling to find some comfort.

One burning teardrop streamed down her face...

'I've always thought that we'll get through this together...' she started. 'But I see that for him it's the end... And there's nothing and no one left for me... _Just the past..._' she tried to swallow her tears.

Rick slowly got hold of her hand and pulled the small ring on her finger. Kate didn't understand, but looking into the sad and sympathetic blue pair of eyes she had to realise that she was definietly not alone...

'I'm here for you.' he said on a low voice.

'Thank you, Castle...' she said smiling and the writer put on his well-known charming smile too.

'Always.'


	4. The ones we love the most

'Yo! Where's Castle?' Esposito asked as detective Beckett entered the room.

'I thought you'd know.' she replied.

'He hasn't showed up this morning.' Ryan said. 'What's up with the Deston-case?'

'Lanie said she'd found something. I go ask her.' she told and she rushed out the door, maybe a bit too immediately.

Esposito and Ryan shared a meaningful look.

'Did you see that?' the hispanic asked.

'What...?'

'Ring.' Ryan nodded and asked suspiciously:

'What did the two of them do last night?'

'I don't know. But I'll find out.' he declared and knocked his fist with his partner's.

oOo

'Lanie!' Kate entered the morgue.

'I found something for you that could solve the case, Sweetie.' she told with a proud smile and showed Beckett a little petri dish. 'There was a DNA sample on a piece of glass which had been embedded to the trachea. I'd bet it belongs to our killer. I'll get an ID in a couple of hours.'

The news didn't made Kate as happy as they made Lanie.

'Lanie...' she started. 'I'd ask you a favor.' the pathologyst was puzzled about the detective's reaction.

'What's it?' she asked, but she was suspicous about this whole thing...

'I need you to get the results only about 5 pm.'

'I don't understand...' Lanie rose an eyebrow.

'Someone's life depends on it... And he's important to me.' Beckett explained, and the pathologyst could see that she was serious like hell.

'Castle...?' she risked the guess.

'N-no... It's not him.' she replied. The question made her a bit confused.

'Sweetheart, do you understand that you're asking me to keep back the conclusive evidence of a homicide?' Kate kept a straight face and nodded slowly. Lanie was studying her eyes for a while then she piped up:

'Alright. But!' she started. Beckett was more than sure that her friend will have some terms. 'When this whole groom-thing ends you'll explain me everything of your little mucky things. Understood?'

'Yeah. Thank you.'

'Don't thank, it's pretty likely yet that you're not gonna get away with this.' Lanie told and she placed the DNA sample into the freezer.

oOo

'The lost sheep returns home!' Esposito and his partner greeted Castle with a huge curious smile on their face. 'Where were you?'

'I had a converstaion with my accountant.' he replied immediately. He noticed the two detectives glaring at his face like vultures. 'What?'

'We've known each other for such a long time bro... You know, we'd expect a little more trust.'

'And we made a pact. You should really tell us about you and Beckett...'

Castle had spent the night of thinking about many things connected to Kate and his ex-groom, but he hadn't thought that the 'good boys' of the 12th's would interrogate him the next day. He looked up to see Beckett in the nearby room sorting some files. The detective didn't notice him yet.

'Hey... Listen!' the 'good boys' pulled the writer back to Earth.

'I'm sorry. Nothing...' he said.

'What's nothing?'

'I've got nothing on Beckett's case.' he shrugged and tried to escape but the detectives didn't let him go.

'What do you mean you got nothing?' Esposito asked. 'What's with the ring?'

'What ring?' Castle kept playing the idiot.

'The ring on Beckett's finger. You know, rounded, little golden, with a red stone in it...' Ryan joined in.

'It's weird... I didn't notice anything.' the writer shook his head then unfolded her arm and quickly headed to the nearby room, leaving behind the two disappointed detectives. 'But I'll have a look!' he yelled then put on his charming smile and left as soon as he could.

'He's lying...' Esposito set out and Ryan nodded in unison. They felt quite horned.

oOo

'Castle? I thought you're not gonna come.' Beckett greeted him with a smile.

'I had some business-talk.' he mumbled then changed the subject. 'How's the case going?'

'I've talked to Lanie.' Kate started, then took a deep breath. 'I'll get evidence this afternoon.'

So Deston got the delay... Castle nodded.

'You've done the right thing.' he tried to cheer up the detective. He was not absolutely honest but he tried to sound certain. At least wanted to support the woman. He didn't trust Deston but he trusted Kate. 'But it's kind of weird that you believe in someone who had left you to become a criminal, then killed a woman...'

As soon as these words left his mouth he knew it was a bit too honest. Kate thrusted her brown eyes into his. He'd already regretted mentioning this_ little oddity..._

'I'm sorry...' he apologised quietly, but Beckett just kept sorting files then piped up in a freezing tone.

'Don't be. I know you don't understand this, Castle... And you never will.' she lifted a stack of loaded forms and set off to bring them down to the archives. 'Except if one morning you wake up and find your parents killed...' she remarked then left.

She walked on the corridor taking long steps and didn't want to look back. Her heart was pounding. She knew this whole thing wasn't for Castle and she couldn't really blame it on him. Still more her own helplessness...

She was hoping that the writer won't take her taunts serious. The little voice in the back of her mind piped up again and made her feel bad and guilty.

_'Why do we hurt the ones we love the most...?'_


	5. Unleashed hell

**A/N: Hi again, next chapter uploaded! :) Sorry, I left out the 'oOo's from last chapter, but I updated it... I think I'm not very good at this... :$ Sorry... But I would be pleased if you'd tell me your opinion, or if there's anything you don't nderstand about my story... I'm sorry again and hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**_  
><em>

_'Who are you?'_

_'My name is Richard Castle. I'm Beckett's partner.' the green eyes were tracing the newcomer's whole appearance, maybe even his personality in less then a moment... As they were flashing the writer felt that they see right into his thoughts... But he kept looking in them._

_'What do you want?'_

_'Answers.' Castle tried to sound confident, though he still haven't decided that Adam Deston was a killer, a friend or an enemy... He closed out the 'friend' option very soon..._

_'I'm not bound to give you any answers.'_

_'Not me but Kate.' the novelist said immediately. The green eyes were more and more impatient studying Rick's face. 'Why don't you make this easier for her? Just tell her who to arrest and...'_

_'Are you really this naive? Deston cut in with a sniffy tone. 'It's far not so simple as it is in your little fictions.' he lowered his voice and pulled out a knife all of a sudden to press it under Castle's cheek, not hurting him yet. 'I could kill you right now.'_

_For a weak moment the writer felt mortal fear, he couldn't deny but as soon as the reason of his visit at Deston's crossed his mind he went on talking:_

_'But you won't.' he waited for a while then added: 'Because of Kate.'_

_It worked. Deston put away the knife then piped up with another glint of his threatening green eyes._

_'You really think you're important to her...' it was more like a loudly expressed note to himself, but he shortly got an answer._

_'Yes, I think.' for a few moments none of them speaked so it felt like an eternity spent in silence. Then Deston finally piped up._

_'Kate will get to know what she has to.' Rick sighed disappointedly, but Adam wasn't finished. 'Though we might need a plan B...'_

oOo_  
><em>

'Castle!' Beckett's voice brought the writer back to the present time, so he had to put by the happenings of the morning when he visited Deston and concentrate on the moment right then, when they headed to... He actually didn't know where they headed.

'Where are we going?' he asked, but the detective's worried eyes gave him the answer: they got the results for the DNA and it was a match with Deston...

As they reached the house Kate pulled out her gun and without any warning she kicked the door. Castle and two other cops following her started to scout the place.

Rick opened a door to some kind of wardrobe, and was about to switch on the lights when a scary green pair of eyes then a powerful, bony fist pushed him to the ground.

Lying on the ground, he heard Beckett's voice shouting:

'Don't move!' then he felt someone's hand sliding secretly something into his pocket. Castle was still on the ground, feeling dizzy when he heard Beckett speaking again:

'Adam Deston, you're under arrest for the murder of Charlene Trouché!' then she cuffed his hands.

The detective started to leave the house with the criminal, not letting him go even for a moment. It looked like she didn't even notice Castle lying on the ground of the wardrobe room.

As they reached the open street Adam quietly piped up:

'His name is Christopher Herbert. There's a list. With names... Four of them will confess voluntarily and the fifth... You have to tell him that Charlene's dead and...' he couldn't finish the sentence.

It happened in a blink of any eye: the shot, then Adam Deston falling to the ground with a wound on his temple and the moment when the green light in his eyes went out - _forever_... As he pulled down Kate as well, as his blood covered the detective's face, hands and clothes... And the screams surrounding the scene and breaking the silent peace of the street.

_What's going on...? What's this madness...?_

It took a few seconds for Beckett to realise what happened, her eyes first discovered the man lying on the ground in a pool of blood, then she caught sight of her own hands turned red...

She put the pieces together in her mind but her senses became dull and she felt herself way far from everything. She heard Castle's voice from about a hundred miles, calling her name:

_'Kate! Kate... It's okay...'_

No, No! Nothing was okay... She felt the ground twirling under her feet, she felt the tears covering her face and veiling her eyes... Then she lost the sight and only the feelings of the surrounding chaos got to her.

The feeling of her lungs running out of air, the feeling of her lips gone dry, the feeling of a dreadful nightmare, when she wants to scream but she can't...

_It has to be a dream..._

'Kate... Calm down...' it was Castle's voice again, she felt his strong arms hugging her, though it was like he was hugging someone else's body, she felt so far from everything... She could only see the blood and the moment when Adam Deston dies over and over again...

'Kate, look at me!' the voice again... She heard lots of crazy and blurred sounds around her but she could only recognize this one. She tried to obey, tried to look at him, but she still saw the horrible "dream" coming again, and her own tears. Then someone grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the only realistic point in this horror - the voice...

Her eyes met the blue ones for only a quick moment, and she wanted to reach out for their owner but she couldn't... Someone was pulling her and she didn't know where.

Then she closed her eyes and the next time she opened them she was sitting in an ambulance and noticed a hand offering her a glass of water. Her own hands were still bloody and shaking. She tried to get hold of the glass but she let it slip. She heard it crushing to the ground and breaking into thousand pieces.

Meanwhile someone was talking to her, what she didn't really understood or listened to, only caught a few words:

'Calm down! You're in the state of shock caused by the trauma...'

oOo

The next thing she remembered was the 12's. She didn't know what happened there or how did she got there. She had gloomy pictures in her mind about the things she did there but she couldn't really tell if it was dream or reality.

Her desk bowled over... The board with the informations torn down... Maybe by Kate, she couldn't tell... Coffee poured to the floor... _And pain..._

Then suddenly the picture of the crime scene filled her mind: the blood, the body, the shot... She felt dizzy and wished she could tear the aching memory from her mind with her nails, just like as every feeling, every thought.

She was sitting on the floor at the women's room. Her senses started to turn back to normal, she realised, where she was and felt her eyes swollen and aching from crying. Her head was bouncing with pain an her heart pounding with an abnormal pace.

Then she heard a familiar voice calling her name, and it reminded her that the same voice was her only "realistic point" in the middle of unleashed hell. She got a grip on herself, wiped her eyes then quietly whispered the name of the man, who owned that life-saving voice:

_'Castle...'_


	6. What pain causes

**Hi again and I'm so sorry it took so long time to upload. But here it is, 6th chapter, personally my favourite. Hope you'll like it ;) I can promise that there will be some more twists in the story as well, so keep reading! Enjoy!**

'Kate!' he shouted from the outer side of the door. 'I'm coming in...' he warned the woman then opened the door. Rick was a bit surprised because he didn't take even a step, the detective stood straight in front of him.

'Kate...' he called her name again. They haven't met since Beckett had been taken by the ambulance at the scene. He didn't have much time to study her painful and teary face because Kate took a step towards him and leaned her head against his chest.

Castle embraced her and closed his eyes. For a few seconds they were just standing there, letting their thoughts floating freely. All the writer wanted was to set Beckett free from the weight of the burden, to help her carry it... But he couldn't.

'I'll take you home.' he said and they slowly walked off together.

oOo

As they got up to Beckett's place and stood in the living room Rick decided not to leave her alone. And Kate was finally able to pipe up in a muddy tone:

'Thank you...'

'Always.' the familiar word made Beckett smile. 'I'll get you some drink.' he offered then headed to the kitchen. Kate was just standing there, looking at the place where he disappeared and didn't move at all.

She had no idea, what was going on, but being close to Castle made her feel like she got drugged with some kind of anaesthetic.

The writer showed up in the room with a cup of warm tea in his hand. He approached the woman still standing there and gave her the drink. However Kate didn't even notice the cup, instead she stared at the pair of deep, charming blue eyes, pulling her towards peace and serenity...

Castle felt her lips touching his. He just woke up to what happened and the detective already pulled away.

They were staring at each other like this was their first kiss in life. Like they didn't really know what was happening. Actually, they didn't: none of them kept thinking, they just let the things happen.

They leaned in for another passionate kiss, totally forgot about the painful past, the doubts, everything... They remembered only one, magically simple and burningly pure feeling_..._

Castle embraced her and carefully took her into the bedroom, lying her on the bed. When Beckett opened her eyes she saw the writer's calming blue eyes looking at her. She gently touched his face.

'I'm not gonna take advantage of your pain...' he whispered then kissed her forehead and tucked her gently. 'Get some rest...'

He was about to leave when he felt Kate's fingers touching his hand.

'Stay...' she said quietly. Rick had no intention to resist. He sat down next to her at the edge of the bed and holding her hand, he watched as she slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep...

oOo

Beckett woke up with afflicting ache in her head. She didn't open her eyes yet. As she started to remember what happened yesterday she felt fear taking over her mind...

_Was it only a dream?_

No... She was pretty sure that the shot was for real. It was the bloody, cruel and cold reality... But she was not so certain about what happened after that.

She decided to open her eyes...

As she caught sight of the blue eyes and their owner looking after her sleep, it released her worried heart. Then she noticed the cup of coffee in his head, it's smell made her feel calm.

'Good morning...' Castle smiled. It was the moment when Kate realised that his hand is holding hers exactly like when she'd fallen asleep.

_He was here all night, watching as I slept...?_

She found that she was smiling too. As she sat up and took the coffee, as the steam veiled her face with its warmth she seemed beautiful to Castle – as always.

Her heart pounded faster as a scary thought crossed his mind, but he made up his mind: the decision will be Beckett's, no matter what she'll choose...

'Kate...' he started. 'About last night...' he went on but still couldn't finish the thought. 'If you want... It never happened.'

It was a tense moment. At first she was looking at him with puzzled, confused eyes. Then she started to smile and laughed quietly.

She would never undo what happened last night. In that moment – and still now – she felt like that kiss saved her life... Saved her from something which probably would have broken down the woman she thought she was... However, things have changed: she'd thought before that she was only grateful for him... Now she found that there was something more, some feelings which only yesterday, during that magical kiss came to real in her heart...

'Castle...' she called his name. She still sounded muddy, but totally honest. 'I don't even deserve you...' she said finally and like a magic touch, it made the writer's face blossom like a child when he gets some sweet.

'You deserve the best.' he whispered leaning closer to her. 'But you have to make it up with me...' then he turned around and left the room with a grin. Kate leaned his head against the wall, and with a huge smile on his face and her head shaking she kept listening the beating of her own heart...

oOo

She mostly managed to keep the memories in a deep and dark part of her mind that morning. She pulled up a wall before the kiss and she hoped that what stuck behind would never come around again. _Never..._

However she had to admit she couldn't bury her past forever, she could never get rid of it. This kind of fighting windmills never worked before and she had to face this fact as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

There were still dark shades under her eyes, her curls were messy framing her face and she tried to smile but for no purpose, she knew she'd only lie to herself: she could never change the woman standing in front of her, because it showed the cruel and cold reality.

_'Come on, Kate... Buck up...'_

With these few words floating in her mind she managed to crash the wall she pulled up carefully. All horrible pictures came to real again, and it cuffed her heart like a painful steel hoop.

She pulled off the little golden ring from her finger and stared at it. Her throat dried, her lungs became air-deficient and she had no idea why did she torture herself, but she couldn't help looking at the little red stone...

'Kate!' she heard Castle's voice from the outside and the ring slipped off her palm. She turned up her head to see the writer's face in the doorway. 'Are you okay?' he asked in a worried tone. 'The silence was too big...'

Beckett hesitated. _Silence..._ For a moment she didn't know if the silence was a friend or foe... The screaming pain in her soul was so eardrum-breaking and still dumb echoing in her head, but the silence from the surrounding world, from the present, the lack of Castle's voice also hurt her...

'I'm fine.' he replied finally, and tried to stand the writer's worried look till he turned around and left.

Kate took the little ring from the ground and laid it on her palm again. That moment she made her choice:

She's going to finish what Adam started. She owed him this... She will stay strong and catch the killer. After all this is her job, her profession. Her _life..._

Then detective Katherine Beckett put on the ring and prepared to face the shadows of her past...


	7. Mystery of the glass

**A/N: Sorry, it took a long time again to upload. I hope you'll like this chapter, things start to get revealed, and the plot thickens. I'm amazingly greatful for the Fav Stories and Story Alerts, so keep reading! (Maybe review...) =) Thank you!**

'Beckett.' he turned to the detective sitting next to him in the car as the pulled up in the 12th's carpark. 'Are you sure that...'

'That I wanna catch that son of a bitch?' she finished his sentence. 'Yeah, I'm sure.' her eyes were shining with pluck but he was worried. He knew her enough to know she won't hesitate getting herself in the biggest danger to finish what she started... And he couldn't bear to see her the way he saw yesterday. So painful, so broken, so weak...

'Alright.' he said, then both got out of the car.

oOo

'Beckett, what are you doing here?' Esposito asked surprised as the detective appeared after all what happened the day before.

'I'm catching a killer.' she replied not even looking at him and stepped to the board. There were only few informations about the type of the gun which Deston had been shot with, pictures of the crime scene and a photo of the victim.

'What?' Esposito was totally puzzled as Beckett took off the pictures from the board. He moved his glance from her to Castle then back at her again.

Mainwhile Kate wrote down the name of Christopher Herbert under the „killer" catchword in the case of Adam Deston's and his parents' murder.

'He spoke about a list with names on it...' she expressed her thoughts. For a few second Castle watched her doing the total opposite of what she was supposed to do, namely to stay at home and spend the day mourning her loved one... Instead, she jumped onto the case like a fierce tiger who caught sight of her future dinner...

He couldn't get rid of the voice in his head saying it's not going to end well... He took a deep breath and finally piped up:

'I think I know what kind of list he was talking about.' he pulled out a white piece of paper from his pocket. Beckett looked at him with confusion. Castle continued. 'Before you caught him, I had a close encounter with his fist... Then he put it in my pocket.' he touched the hurting, light purple spot under her eye. The detective didn't even notice his injury yet.

First Castle was upset about the sock, but later he figured out that Deston must have been as much surprised about him popping up as he was about meeting Adam.

Kate took the paper and started to read and write the names onto the board.

'Someone should explain what's going on...' Espoisto tried to tune in though he was losing the hope to get an answer.

'Where's Ryan?' Beckett asked. As her eyes met with his colleague's confused glance she slowed down a bit and said: 'I'm sorry. I can't explain this at the moment. I know I can't ask you to understand me, I'm just asking you to trust me.' she was awake to the fact that the lack of time wasn't the main obstruction for her to explain the things. She couldn't be capable of calling the last few days' events to mind... It would've been too painful. The only way she could get through this was to focus on the case and strangle her feelings...

_Strangling my feelings... I'm good at it..._ - it crossed her mind as she caught sight of the writer standing next to her but the loud beat of her heart warned her to concentrate.

Esposito nodded slowly.

'Tell me what to do.' Kate felt relieved and she sent the cop to find Ryan.

oOo

'He said four of them will confess voluntarily...' Beckett was staring at the five pictures on the board. 'Who's the odd one?'

Castle pensively stared at the photos and the names above them, until a pair of magically deep blue eyes caught his sight...

'Looks familiar...' he mumbled, so Beckett rose her head immediately like a canine smelling a clue. She started to watch the picture too, which had a name of „Uriah Geronn" upon it.

It didn't ring a bell for neither, but the face, the eyes were familiar. The two glancing points which drew them in, like some kind of magic so they couldn't tear their looks from them...

'Charlene!' they bursted at the same time.

'Is it possible?' Castle asked founding that he had the same excitement growing in his body like when he and Beckett figures out who the killer is in an o_rdinary_ case, and they express it at the same time...

'Why not? It would make sense...' she replied, then got back to her thoughts with a renewed bounce. Castle couldn't follow her this time. Then she turned to him again with an excited-glad light in her eyes.

'That's why he did it! That's why he killed Charlene! Everything's clear now!' she shouted, then she realised the confused look on the writer's face. 'Uriah Geronn is Charlene's father... He probably changed his name to protect his daughter...'

'From Herbert?' asked Castle looking at the name under the „Killer" tag.

'Precisely. _He..._ He killed the girl because Geronn has something, some conclusive evidence against Herbert and this was the only way for him to get it...'

'Geronn needed to think that his daughter was killed by Herbert?' Castle continued the train of thoughts. By the way, he noticed that the _„he"_ mentioned by the detective was referring to Adam... She's not saying his name...

Kate nodded.

_So that's the difference between „good guys" and „bad guys"... Katherine Beckett would never murder an innocent person to catch her mother's killer... _- the writer thought. Altough the ex-groom became a bit more sympathetic for him as it got revealed that he had not killed a woman so cruelly just for fun... He had a quite good reason...

'Only the glass doesn't make sense...' it crossed his mind. 'Charlene had had a glass pushed down her throat. If you simply wanna kill someone, wouldn't you use a gun, or somenthing like that to avoid causing pain?'

The proposition made Beckett think this over as well but she shortly decided to care about this question later. They finally had a lead... She glanced at the ring shining on her finger then closed her eyes.

She had been standing here so many times yet. But she was disappointed all time. She felt fear slowly taking over her heart. She was trying to convince herself that this time it was different, she could already see the finish line...

'Kate... We're going to catch him.' Castle told her just like he had just read her mind. She flashed him a smile and looked into his eyes greatfully.

They were just looks between them... Looks filled with desire, and the feeling of an invisible wall parting them. Beckett had her heavy gaze tucked into Castle's just like she was saying:

_'I'm sorry...' _because that wall had been hoisted by her, she had to separate herself from her feelings, she had to separate herself from _him_ as well... Therefore if their actions couldn't be honest expressing how they truly felt for each other, their _looks _surely did. Neither were capable of lying to the other when they had their eyes met – never from now on, just like as before.

oOo

The two of them was standing in front of the door. Finally she rose a hand and knocked. Soon a man appeared in the doorway, having his shiny blue eyes on the newcomers.

'Who are you? What do you want?' he wasn't very pleasant of their visit, though Kate didn't expect it either.

'We're here because of Charlene.' she replied, and saw a fast-moving shade of fear wandering the man's face.

'What Charlene? I'm not familiar with that name...' no matter how hard he tried to hide it, the french accent could be easily discovered in his speak.

'Mr. Geronn, we know that she was your daughter. She's dead.' Beckett continued, but she didn't see what came next. The man's eyes filled with tears, his face, his whole body turned into a turtured, haggard person's, it was like visible pain settling onto his shoulders...

Castle noted to himself that Uriah is not very good at keeping his disguise... Despite this he looked really miserable and heartbreaking – just like his daughter's body.

'I'm sorry...' Beckett added and gave the crying man an arm to lean on. At this moment Geronn froze. He rose his eyes to Beckett with a totally changed look in them.

'Who are you?' he hissed through his teeth totally forgetting about his accent, almost in french. Kate didn't answer, so Uriah started to squeeze her arm with iron hands and looked at her ring. Then he repeated the question: 'Who are you?'

'Do you know, how Charlene died?' Castle suddenly piped up. The man had his eyes wandering to the writer with an unhealthy dose of paranoid gleam in them. 'A glass had been pushed down her throat.'

Geronn froze again, the paranoia turned into pure hatred and anger. He released Kate's arm who immediately pulled it away.

'Herbert killed my daughter... It was him, wasn't he? He killed her!' if a „whispered shout" is an existing way of expression, the man was speaking that way. It felt like the silence before the storm.

Castle and Beckett had their eyes met. Both knew that they had to lie... Another obvious difference between the „good" and the „bad" side...

_This is Adam's case, not mine..._ - it crossed Kate's mind. Then she took a deep breath and made her choice: this time she won't be a cop... She'll be a friend instead.

'Yes. Christopher Herbert killed your daughter.' she declared in a surprisingly confident way. The mystery of the glass had been solved: it means something to Geronn which is important enough to convince him about the killer's identity.

_Such a twisted case. _- Castle started to think that Adam Deston was the living Derrick Storm himself...


	8. Evidence

**A/N: There are only 3 more chapters left, so we're definietly getting closer to the end. But I still have some twists in mind, so hope you'll like it. Enjoy and please review if you'd like! P.s: I know, Uriah Geronn is such a stupid name... Don't know where it came from... :D**

'Who are you? That ring on your finger...' Geronn still held the door nervously, not letting the two in. 'Belongs to Adam Deston.'

Beckett's heart rated up. She pulled off the ring.

'My name is Kate. Adam was my fiancé years ago.' Uriah analized the detective's eyes with his searching blue ones. Castle was surprised by Beckett's sudden honesty.

'And him? Who is he?' Geronn asked shooting a look at Rick.

'A friend.' Beckett's eyes met the writer's. He stayed calm, because he had exact knowledge of what she'd ment by _"friend"_... Thus he just watched observantly what happens next. 'How do you know this ring belongs to Adam?'

'I saw it on his finger...' he answered gabbling, so it was quite obvious that he was lying. He looked down, his lips trembling. Then he rose his glare again, tears in his eyes, and finally told the truth. 'He promised that he'll engage my daughter with that ring, just to protect her from Herbert...'

Kate watched pitifully as the man's eyes light up with pain again. However she'd really wanted to find out what happened exactly. She hezitated, but then touched his shoulder once again, then piped up quietly.

'Adam's dead...' she hided her other hand with the small ring in it behind her. She tried to swallow her feelings and erease any kind of weakness from her heart, but in spite of her efforts she still felt her throat tighten, the air draining out of her lungs.

She felt Castle's hand softly touch hers behind, and she knew that he was observing her face. She tried to overcome herself and continued talking to Geronn:

'He died because he knew something, which could get Christopher Herbert behind bars.' she stopped for a moment, so Uriah watched her face expectantly. 'That thing is in your possession...'

Geronn stayed nonchalant. It seemed like he got frozen with his eyes stuck on Beckett's face without any kind of surprise in them. But a moment later he disappeared in the doorway and came back with a disc in his hand.

'Take me to a safe location!' he ordered. Castle and Kate shared a meaningful look. Both were sure that Uriah was not meaning the police station, so Beckett - not totally certain of herself - piped up:

'We'll take you to my place.'

oOo

'Christopher Herbert is not the kind who establishes his realm on reliance...' Geronn was sitting on the couch and obviously felt uncomfortable. 'Every person who knew any of his dirty secrets was held by him on a leash... We've been obliged to keep our mouths shut.'

'He threathened you to kill your daughter?' Kate asked.

'He didn't have to. I wasn't always working alone. But one of Herbert's busnisses really pissed off my partner, and he made that mistake to express his displeasure... Unfortunately...' he's fingers were still holding the disc tightly, trembling some times. 'His wife and son were dead by the next day... Both had a glass pushed down their throats...'

His blue eyes were shaking from side to side as he relieved the moment.

'That little boy was just seven years old...' he whispered. For a few seconds he whimpered quietly, his lips moving, like he was talking, but no sensible words left his mouth. 'My partrer tried to take revenge... He ended up in a mincer...'

Castle's stomach took a roll. And the glass-pushing method seemed cruel before...?

'Sorry to interrupt, but what did you exactly work for Herbert?' Beckett asked.

'I developed security systems for various databases.'

'Databases?' the writer piped up.

'Yes. Full of confidential information. Financial business, calculations, names of clients...'

'You had access to them?' Kate rose her head curiously.

'No!' he answered a bit too immediately. 'Y-yes... I could access those information. But I was forbid to do that, I just helped evidence melt away and get unavailable for unauthorized hands. But then...' he started to breath hardly. 'One day Deston came to me. And he was speaking unbelievable things about Herbert having his parents killed, and that he wants to take revenge... I didn't really understand why would he do that? He was working for Herbert too...'

Beckett rose an eyebrow. Adam had been so deep in the case that he could work for the sonovabitch for years who killed his family? Just to be sure that he's _going to _catch him...

The life of Adam Deston was really a story of vengeance, and Kate started to realize that she wouln't fit in a life like this...

'He told me that he needed my help.' Geronn continued. 'He asked me to copy all information and hand him the disc... Of course, I didn't obey. Because of Charlene...' his throat went dry.

The pieces finally started to get in place. The disc held by the man drew Beckett's eyes like a magnet. For a moment Castle thought that she'll spring at Uriah and tear it out of his hands. But nothing happened, Geronn went on without being interrupted.

'But I didn't blew him to Herbert, I didn't tell he visited me... Then he appeared again and gave me another disc... He said he needed a password to access the content, and he looked pretty sure that I knew what it was...' Rick was wondering if he really knew the password. 'I told him to leave me alone, because he's going to get my Charlene killed! But he didn't leave... He promised to protect her... He showed me the ring.' he pointed his index finger to the golden jewel lying on the detective's palm. 'He sweared that he'll engage her, he'll marry her, and Herbert won't be able to even touch her! I didn't believe him... But still didn't bust him.'

Kate closed her eyes for a moment. If Geronn knew that his daughter wasn't killed by Herbert, but Deston...

_I'm sorry for getting you into this... _- she thought she heard Adam's voice echoing in her head, so she quickly opened her eyes and returned to the ground of reality. She felt Castle's fingers touch her shoulder.

She shot a quick "thanks"-look at him then turned back to Uriah and his sad story.

'It's all that Deston-kid's fault!' he bursted with anger. 'Herbert must have figured out that he came to me, and killed my little Charlene...' he took a bowed position, and squeezed on the disc even tighter, so Beckett was afraid he'll break it.

'Adam really took care of your daughter. He married her, as promised. We found marks on her finger, left by the ring...' Castle explained. Kate shot him a totally puzzled look.

_Why would he tell such a lie? He killed Charlene, not protected her..._

However, Geronn listened with a hopeful expression on his face, and he murmured something which could be interpreted as a quiet _"thank you". _He believed every word he heard.

'What's on the disc?' Kate asked.

'Which one?' the man looked up to see a very confused Beckett, as he pulled out a quite similar disc from his pocket. 'This contains all of Herbert's dirty business from the last two years. On the other one, you'll find everything occured before.'

Kate had mixed feelings about the two discs: she was glad to have some kind of evidence against Herbert, but still wasn't content about it's quality.

'You're saying that I can arrest the guy with some wretched charge of fraud and embezzlement though he committed multiple homicide and ruined families?'

'Hold on, m'am! These are not that kind of business...' he lifted his index finger officiously. 'Names of hitmans and the amount of payment they'd got, credit card numbers, names of drug lords, everyone who had something to do with Herbert... If this doesn't get him imprisoned for the rest of his life, then nothing will!'

Kate looked at Castle. She had some fierce kind of fire in her eyes which scared the writer. She finally could almost put her hands on that evidence, put her hands on Herbert, and Rick couldn't get rid of his worries about what if she'll have to be diappointed again...

'But there's a little problem...' the brown eyes like corching flames, the blue ones like still ice wandered to Geronn's face as he piped up. 'I have the password for only one of them...'


	9. Remember

**A/N: New chapter up! Hope you'll enjoy, I think it's the most brutal episode of all. :) So prepare!_  
><em>**

_'I have the password for only one of them...'_

'How?' slipped out Beckett's mouth.

'One disc, which I copied just in case. The other one was handed me by Adam. And I don't know the code for that.' he explained, just like as it was the most common thing on Earth.

However it made Kate form heavy thoughts in her head. So the information older than 2 years was not accessible, though maybe one disc would be enough to arrest the bastard... Plus there are four men who'll make a statement against Herbert if Ryan and Esposito get them in.

On the other hand, the person's name, who killed Adam's parents is on the other disc...

'Tell me the password.' she finally asked Geronn.

'Which one?' he looked totally confused.

'The one you know.' Beckett started to lose her patience.

'Yeah, of course...' the detective took out a paper and pen and started to write down the numbers. '1... 3... 4... 7.'

'Thank you.' Kate put the note into her pocket then looked at Castle, who looked at her hand. Precisely her ring... 'What's it?' she asked, dazzling the writer out of his ponder.

'Can I have a look?' he asked for the small jewel. Beckett didn't really understand what was this about, but she pulled off the ring and handed it to Castle.

Rick lifted it to his eye and started to rotate and feel it with his fingers, then he suddenly finished, and looked through the round object smiling, exactly into Kate's eyes.

'Castle, what did you find?' she squatted next to him. The writer showed her the tiny, hardly visible numbers carved into the inner side of the ring... Four ciphers.

Beckett looked up, excitement in her eyes. Their thoughts were the same... But how is that possible?

'Wa... Wait a minute...' she thought it over, then stood up. It just made no sense. 'How did you know, that the code is in the ring?' she asked suspiciously. Castle's smile froze. He hadn't truly thought about the consequence of his findings.

'Do you know who this ring belongs to?' he asked with a sigh. The detective answered, uncertain of herself:

'Adam.' at first Castle stayed quiet. But Beckett could easily read him, figuring out he knew more than she did. Thus she looked deeply into the writer's eyes.

'He found it in his mother's hand, tucked into an envelope. After she died...' silence. Kate sat down.

She believed that she finally knew everything, had every piece of the puzzle. It made her angry that every time something new popped out and confused everything.

_Please make it end... _- she thought, then looked at the man in front of her.

Adam's parents died in a "car accident". The vehicle landed in the sea, falling from a cliff, crossing the crash barrier. The case hadn't been investigated carefully. There were head injuries which would't match the ones which could been possibly caused by the accident - they had been hit before they got tucked into the car. It was homicide. Cold-blooded homicide.

'You're saying that Adam's family died because they had the password?' the detective figured. It would make sense. Even the timing is appropriate. They got the code, then made someone carve it into the ring... Maybe Geronn's partner... But the evidence hadn't been delivered to the cops.

'I'm not saying anything. It was just a guess...' he admitted. 'Adam only told me how his parent's died and where's the ring from.'

'You talked to Adam? When?' she asked surprised. Rick would have preferred not to continue this conversation.

'I visited him the day he got killed.' he confessed. It felt like that meeting had been years ago... Though it was just yesterday.

'Why?' it started to turn into an interrogation.

'I don't know, I just...' he stopped. First, he would have liked Adam to disappear then and there, and stay away from Kate and her past, but he knew it would be pointless to try and make it that way. Second, he wanted some kind of starting point to help Beckett on the investigation. And finally, though he'd never admit that loudly, he wanted to check on the guy who had stolen Kate's heart years ago - and the writer was afraid that he still had it...

Then he realised that he had actually gone there without determined questions so as he didn't know what to do with the answers.

'I'm sorry.' he piped up speaking on a low voice. 'I'm sorry that I nosed into that. And I'm sorry about what I'm going to say now.' the part of the conversation which he was the most afraid of just came. Kate deepened her brown eyes into the wirter's blue ones.

'He told me everything that he believed he wouldn't have time to tell you...' Beckett got confused again. 'He knew he was going to get murdered.'

_"__Perhaps you'll be the one to finish what I started__" - _so that's what he ment?

Kate started to breathe hard.

'And did_ you_ knew?' she asked quietly. Castle hated himself for being the one to tell her all these things. He hated himself for making her sad, breaking her heart...

'No.' he answered straightly. By that time, he truly didn't knew. As the pieces got in place during the days, he put them together. 'I'm sorry.' he repeated. He felt guilty, because if he'd figured it earlier, maybe they could have saved Deston's life... In fact he doubted that, but he was sure that the women in front of him had these thoughts in mind.

Kate just nodded, couldn't say a word. She didn't let her tears come out, didn't want to break through the wall. She didn't want to appear weak, and most of all, she didn't want to _feel_...

After a short silence the writer piped up again, not looking at her.

'He told me something else too...' Beckett listened exhaustedly. 'He said he still loves you...' he rose his blue eyes to observe her face, and tried to concentrate. 'And he asked you to remember...'

Richard Castle never thought that once he'll have to forward another man's feelings to the woman he actually loved too... Cleary aware of the fact that his words hurt her, it was really hard to say them. All without jealousy, and the aching desire to kiss Kate and make her forget every gloomy memory, instead he must say one damned word:

_"Remember..."_

But he owed her this. Fate's black irony... He was not sure if he sould leave her alone with her thoughts or just stay and sit... Spinning the small ring with his fingers he finally stood up, stepped to the detective, and was about to hand it back to her, when he noticed something odd.

'Where's Geronn?'

oOo

Kate wasn't capable to believe her eyes. The air completely drained out her lungs, she could only move her lips without a sound leaving her mouth. She wasn't able to cry anymore, it felt like time and space gone still around her.

'How many people have to die...' she whispered staring at the hung man's bulging eyes in her own bathroom. Life froze in them...

Castle suddenly felt the detective's hand gripping his arm, and pull him out of the room, not looking at him. Though neither the writer was truly aware of what was going on. The next thing he perceived was the bathroom door closing in front of him as Beckett disappeared behind it, then locked it.

'Kate!' he knocked. As he began to get self-conscious he felt scared and worried. 'Kate!'

But Kate was just standing, leaning her back to the door, and stared at Uriah Geronn's self-hung corpse in her own bathroom. Then her eyes wandered below, to meet her own reflection in the mirror.

She observed herself, the dishevelled curls, trembling lips and the pair of brown eyes sparkling dark, nearly empty. She looked up again at the dead's gaze then back to her own...

_So similar..._

He rose her hand, watched it in the mirror. It was shaking, and showed a fair, pale colour, just like her face.

'Kate!' she could hear the shouting from the outside, waiting for the woman in the mirror to answer, but nothing happened.

Then a thought crossed her mind, she swallowed to wet her throat then tried to speak:

'Kate?' she heard her own voice, and as she observed her reflection's lips moving, but giving no sound, the smoke in her head started to clear. She pulled out her badge, stared at it.

Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD.

Youngest female homicide investigator in the area. A cop, solving murders, a cop, giving peace to families, putting a stop to horror...

Is that what she is...? Now there she was, standing right next to a hung body, being unable to associate with herself... Unable to believe, that the woman in the mirror is truly her, and unable to act like she would've expect herself to do...

She remembered her reaction when it popped that Adam Deston was involved in the case. She smiled, like nothing happened... She lied to herself _about_ herself...

She almost laughed, how ridiculous it was.

Then she looked up at the mirror again, a strange thought crossing her mind:

_Am I crazy...?_

She couldn't find the answer. She noticed a small vase on the floor, which she lifted, and broke the mirror with it. It was easier for her now, that _she was alone. _The awful voice of the crash made the writer outside took alarm.

'Kate! Let me in! What Happened? Beckett!' the detective, however not paying any attention to the shouting, began to remove the rope from the body. It took a few minutes to manage, then she placed the corpse on the floor, leaning it to the wall, closing his eyes.

She felt much more like she was "Angel of Death" than a homicide detective... She walked to the door, then turned the key. Castle heard the clicking, and opened the door immediately. He looked around startled. First he noticed the body, then the splinters of them broken mirror and vase, last Kate's oddly calm brown eyes.

'Are you okay? What happened?' he grabbed her hand, then a moment later intended to pull away, but the detective didn't let him go.

Beckett smiled sadly, and looked around, surveying the scene. Drilling her gaze into the writer's still worried eyes, in a very muddy and exhausted tone she declared her decision:

'I want to end this case. For good.'

Castle's slow nod didn't express his thoughts, that he actually found her behavior and the whole situation weird and confusing. It wasn't clear if Kate was meaning "end this case" like catching Christopher Herbert, or end like giving up, and forget all about it...? He could imagine both.

And in fact, even Beckett wasn't sure. She was not only talking about the case of Adam Deston, but also about her own mother's murder...


	10. I Love you

Beckett opened the door, pointing her gun forward and suveying the scene. She peeked into every corner carefully, but found nothing, or no one. This one was about the fifth room she explored. She was completely aware of how dangerous game was what she played - seeking alone, split from the other cops in a house filled with cold-blooded killers and criminals, searching for one of them: Christopher Herbert.

She didn't know if he really stayed in the building, but she had this tense feeling in her heart that he actually did. That this was the endgame... She tried to tame her racing heart and concentrate, not letting anything to deflect her attention.

At least she tried...

She heard a clicking noise behind her - like triggering a gun. Her heart skipped a beat. She slowly rose her hands as she heard a man laughing maliciously.

'Turn around, I wanna see my victim's face!' he said. Beckett turned very slowly, then when she caught sight of the weapon from the corner of her eye, she managed to kick it from the man's hand with a quick move. However, the attacker wasn't numb either, he sqeezed and twisted the detective's arm and got her gun.

'Aahh.' she screamed in pain as he wriggled her wrist. As Kate got her arm released, she punched the man in the nose with everything she had. The gun landed halfway between them.

Then they finally looked at each other's faces... As Beckett recognized the man she felt anger, hatred and mostly vengefulness burst and rush every inch of her body. The man in front of her was a hitman: the one who killed Adam Deston's parents - a very own butcher of Christopher Herbert's.

'You were the girl standing by Deston when I got his head blown...' he mumbled. Kate suddenly felt dizzy... _He murdered Adam, as well? The entire family...?_

The detective's mind filled with pictures of the victims of this case, the blood, the bodies, the pain... She couldn't concentrate anymore, she totally lost contol of herself and attacked the man with her bare hands.

It took him aback, he got a punch in the belly, but then he managed to catch the detective's arm and twisting it he pushed her away. Beckett immediately turned around to start another rush against the hitman, but she didn't expect his next move.

She felt screaming, unbearable pain striking into her lower arm. She yelled out, but her vengefulness couldn't be simply killed by any ache. The man bended forward and released her as he felt her toe powerfully kicking his stomach. Kate fell aback, then collapsed against the wall.

She finally had a moment to realise what happened: a knife stuck out of her arm, deeply stabbed into her flesh. She breathed heavily, as she watched the warm, red pool of blood widening around the wound, streaming down her arm. Her eyes got veiled as unstoppable tears watered her face.

However the man wasn't finished yet. He took Kate's weapon from the ground, and pointed it at her, so she had no choice, but to stare into the barrel of her own gun and prepare...

_So this is the end... _- a shot fired.

**A few hours earlier**

As they arrived back to the 12th's Castle decided to take the task of explaining the situation to Ryan and Esposito - carefully avoiding the part about him and Beckett. The boys didn't have much time to discuss what they heard, because Kate quickly took the confessions of the four volunteer witnesses, then gained a warrant against Herbert - meanwhile avoiding to contact her colleagues.

Shortly they got the address of a property on the outskirts. The detective gathered a smaller group, containing Ryan and Esposito, so few minutes later they were already driving to the house, Kate sharing a car with Castle.

Pouring rain watered the windshield, the only sound was the knocking of raindrops as they tried to gain admission to the vehicle.

'You shouldn't have lied to Geronn.' Beckett broke the silence.

'About what?' Rick shot her an innocent, puzzled look.

'About Adam intending to protect Charlene.'

'I didn't lie.' he said straightly. 'I think at first he wasn't about to kill her. If so, then why would he marry her?' he pointed out. Kate was truly surprised by the fact that after all what Adam pulled both of them into, Castle's still able to defend him.

'Are you detesting him?' she asked quietly after a short break.

'Well, I didn't really know him. And after all the things he had to go through...' he started, but suddenly stopped. He was sure that the detective wouldn't like to listen to a story very much similar to her own gloomy, tragic one. 'I don't think I'm the one to judge...' he summarized his opinion.

Beckett nodded, then silence took over in the car. Raindrops covered the windshield, just to moments later get vanished by the wipers.

'And you? Are you detesting Adam?' the writer tossed back the question, and it caught the detective unprepared. Kate hesitated.

'I... Don't know...' she forced herself to look into the sky-blue eyes. 'I'm just afraid.'

'Of what?'

'Of the man he turned into...' she sighed. 'And of me becoming just like him.' she finally admitted. Since Deston's reappearance this thought had been on her mind, like a heavy cuff holding her captive - and now that she confessed, it still didn't disappear.

'Look at me, Kate...' he asked, then piped up in a gentle, but serious tone: 'You are not the same.'

'How do you know?' she asked being stubborn, but with honest worry in her voice.

'Adam seeked revenge.' he started. 'But you seek justice. _And that is not the same._'

Kate looked deeply in the calming blue eyes. She couldn't imagine what would happened to her if the writer hasn't been here for her in the last few days to pull her back to the ground of reality just when she loses herself... For a moment she felt horribly weak... For a moment she considered how great it would be if she could forget everything, if she could leave herself, her life, her past behind and just float in the infinite ocean of non-existence... Just her and the blue eyes...

The rumbling of thunder yanked her back to Earth, to find that they arrived. She got her composure back, then got out to the pouring rain with a sigh. She looked up at the grey swirl of clouds above her. She had to admit that the deeply desired peace could only come if she's able to finish what Adam had started...

'Castle.' she called for him, who was about to fasten his writer-labelled body armour with not much luck. 'You don't have to come.' she shot him a sharp look. He discovered some sort of worry in her voice, which wasn't surprising, since she actually _did_ worry about him...

'Hell I don't!' he replied speaking like it was natural for a writer to go for a little boom-boom with his muse. For him, it _was _natural. He couldn't imagine letting her down right before the endgame. 'I'll cover you.' he flashed a smile, but Kate didn't return his gesture. She stepped to him with a serious look on her face and handed him a gun.

Castle took it, then both walked to join Ryan, Esposito and the others to approach the building in the Middle of Nowhere.

oOo

A lightning bolted outside, it's luminosity filled the room. Then a thunder rumbled...

Kate opened her eyes to see the hitman lying on the ground in the pool of his own blood. The dark, killer smile on his face froze, and his eyes looked empty...

'Castle...' the writer in the doorway held a gun in his shaking hand, and stared at the body, horrified. Then he dropped the weapon and jumped to Beckett with a few long steps. He noticed the knife in the detective's lower arm.

'Kate...' he whispered. His heart beated so hard that he beleived it'll break through his chest.

'This is nothing...' she breathed the words, thus it was quite obvious that the injury was definietly major. She felt herself becoming weaker with every moment. She lost way too much blood, no one could tell when will she lose consciousness.

'Don't!' Castle tried to keep her from pulling the knife out of herself, but Beckett shot him a look so the writer released her hand. Rick didn't want her to suffer though he knew that there is no other way.

Kate pulled the weapon out with one quick move, then dropped it. Castle clamped the wound, and searched for some kind of cloth to bandage it. The detective breathed heavily, her forehead was covered with drops of sweat, and her face watered by tears. She had to stretch every sense to fight the pain.

The writer gently touched her face with one hand.

'We need to get out.' he said quietly. Beckett tried to nod. As her senses got dull, she felt the pain ease, but also felt the darkness approaching...

'Castle...' she whispered, as the owner of the name carefully watched every little movement of her, not leaving for even a moment. 'Herbert...'

'Don't think about him!' he said stricktly then gently embraced her, and she hugged his neck with her unhurt arm. The writer lifted her up. She couldn't protest anymore. She couldn't really think in fact, the disappointment about not catching Herbert also left her mind, and she closed her eyes.

_'I Love you...'_ she whispered, then let herself marry the darkness as she became unconscious.


	11. The blue eyes

**A/N: LAST CHAPTER! What else can I say? Enjoy!**

Kate woke up on a stretcher in the backside of an ambulance, parking in front of the house of Herbert. She felt dull ache in her spinning head and lower arm. It took some time for her to get the memories of the recent past.

She opened her eyes and tried to move her arm. She knew she could lift it, but she felt burning pain when she tried, so she shortly gave up on it. At least her bones stayed unbroken...

'Esposito?' the latin detective appeared in the car. 'What happened?' Beckett asked, and made a note for herself, that she could speak raucous, but quite normal, and she could also breath much more easily. She noted that fresh, rain-scented air smelled good.

'Yo're better, as I see.' he smiled. 'Castle's got you out and we met halfway. We'd called ambulance earlier. One of the cops got shot. So you were treated shortly.' he explained.

'How long was I passed?' Kate asked.

'Not so long. Though we're done with the building. It's over.'

'You caught Herbert?' Beckett asked with sudden fire and tried to sit up, but she needed Esposito's support.

'Whoa, easy...' he helped her.

'Herbert?' Kate asked again, even more empathically. Esposito hesitated, then finally confessed.

'He wasn't there... I'm sorry.' Beckett's world collapsed.

_And now? Where? How?_ - there were no more leads, no more clues... _Nothing..._

A paramedic wearing a medical mask passed the ambulance, and Kate's mind filled with different thoughts. Her heart got heavy of the feeling of guilt, disappointment and even her arm hurted much more now.

_Castle... _- she thought about the writer. Did he hear what she said...? Or did she actually said it loudly...?

Then like a lightning bolt, the realisation striked into her mind. She wanted to jump off the stretcher, but Esposito stopped her.

'Yo ain't going anywhere!' he said strictly. However Beckett now was heated with excitement. The thoughts raced in her mind like Formula One cars.

'Where's Castle?' she asked, collapsing back.

'He was here a minute ago...' Esposito mumbled, and looked around.

'Could you please get him for me?' she asked. His colleauge raised an eyebrow, but left to satisfy her request.

As soon as he got out of sight, Kate jumped off the stretcher, trying to fight her spinning head and aching arm, she floundered out of the car. She looked around. She knew exactly whom she was looking for, and soon she pointed out a person sneaking into the overgrown roguish surrounding the house.

No one noticed in the scrimmage as she approached one of the police cars, and took a gun from cubby-hole. Beckett looked around again to see if someone spotted her borrowing that weapon.

No one could stop her now...

Running - at least fast-walking on uncertain legs - she dashed against the high vegetation to catch the suspect: the paramedic with the medical mask. All others on the scene did their jobs without a mask, which is logical knowing it was a shooting not some kind of radioactive air-pollution. The mask was good for only one thing: it hid the man's face...

And to be honest, it was her last straw to hold...

Her boots stuck into the mud with every other step, her arm pulsated with pain and the painkillers still made her senses dull, but ignoring that, holding the gun in her unhurt hand she headed persistently after the guy.

'Stop!' she shouted as she approached him on about a thirty legs quarter. The man stopped. Then slowly turned around to face Beckett. Instead of firing the gun immediately, Kate took careful steps to get closer and closer... She wanted to see Christopher Herbert's face. _Devil's face..._

They were just a few steps far from each other when the detective piped up again.

'Take it off!' she pointed at the mask with her chin. The man tractably obeyed.

Kate froze. It was really him: _Christopher Herbert._

She didn't understand why couldn't she simply pull the trigger. Her hand was shaking, and she felt her eyes burnt by the heavy look of the man in front of him. She ignored the ice-cold raindrops washing her face.

'Kill me.' he piped up. His voice was deep, prim, and way too calm. 'That's what you want.'

Kate took another step towards him and pointed her gun forward, but didn't shoot. She couldn't. She didn't know why, didn't understand... Until that moment that was all she wanted, to end this. She wanted what Adam wanted. To make Christopher Herbert pay...

'No.' she replied, not letting down her gun. 'Adam Deston would kill you without hesaitation. But I'm detective Kate Beckett.' she speaked loudly, determined and suprsisingly temperately. And for the first time in days, she_ ment it..._

But Herbert only laughed.

'Then I could simply walk away.' he remarked, and ignoring the weapon he approached the detective, who pressed the gun against his temple. He stopped.

'Fine... Let's do this way...' he said suspiciously. It scared the hell out of Beckett how he was calmer than death. Then she felt screaming pain in her lower arm as he squeezed on her wound.

She fell on her knees, tears heating the corner of her eyes, so Herbert easily took away her gun. She knew that the stiches tore, and she felt blood covering her arm.

'However, I'm not so ethical, so you'd better say goodbye...' Herbert told.

Kate lost her patience. It was the second in one they that a man pointed a gun at her, this time at least it wasn't her own. She closed her eyes, considering her chances, then thought about the people who were important to her...

Johanna Beckett... Adam Deston... _Richard Castle..._

Then she opened her eyes and looked right into Herbert's.

'Beckett!' a yell could be heard from somwhere around, maybe Esposito as he was looking for her. Though Kate didn't really care, the only thing she cared about was the fact that it was her only chance. If Herbert's attention was dragged by the male voice... She deciced that she's not going to die easily.

She stood up and pushed the man, who stepped aback losing his balance, and as his shoe slipped on the mud he fell.

Kate reached for the gun.

'Beckett!' another yell, she clearly recognized Castle's voice.

Her little plan seemed to work, her fingers reached the gun, but Herbert pulled her to the ground. The weapon ended up tucked into the soft mud, and now Kate was the one who got confused.

Then she felt the burning ache striking into her arm again, and she screamed out. She was on top of the man, but now she had to bowl off him. Beckett flourished with her hand, trying to free the other one. Her eyes filled with tears, so she blindly fought against the air surrounding her.

Her pain eased. Maybe she managed to hit Herbert? It seemed the only explanation. Kate dug her hand into the mud, leaning on her healthy arm and wiped her eyes with the other hand. She felt slimy, muddy blood smearing her face, but she finally regained sight.

Kate saw a bony fist getting closer and closer, and she didn't have the time to parry. She felt her cheek aching in a spot as Herbert hit her, and she fell to the ground again. But what she found right next to her fingers quickly changed the odds.

She gripped the gun and sat up.

Two shots fired.

Herbert screamed out in pain. Both bullets hit his shoulder, and he landed in the mud. Kate squatted next to him, pushed the gun against his chin, and speaked in a heavy-breathing, crunchy, anger-filled voice.

'I didn't say I'm not gonna shoot you.' she hissed then added: 'I arrest you, you sonovabitch!'

Esposito and two other cops appeared in seconds to carry off Herbert.

'Are you okay?' he asked the woman sitting on the ground, her face covered with mud, blood and sweat. She replied with a nod, then asked him by a small gesture of her head to leave her alone...

And Kate leaned her back into the mud staring at the grey sky. She felt cool raindrops stroking her face, then she closed her eyes. A heated drop of tear came out under her lid and she let out a quiet laughter...

_Now it was over..._

oOo_  
><em>

Beckett was sitting on her desk in front of the board on the 12th's. She was supposed to be in hospital, but she didn't feel like spending this night in a sterilized ward with dull green walls.

Instead she slowly took off the pictures of the case from the board, giving each one a last, meaningful look.

Castle soon appeared next to her, and helped with the „cleaning". Neither speaked. Kate gripped the picture of Adam from under the „victims" label, and sent him a sorrowful smile.

'It's hard to believe...' she piped up quietly. 'That I'll never see him again.' she looked up at the writer, who was taking Geronn's photo.

'I know it's cliché...' he started 'But at least he's in peace after all.'

On the outside, Beckett was smiling gratefully, but inside she could't put up with the fact yet.

'It's not fair he couldn't be there when we caught Herbert.' she said finally.

'Trust me, he was.' Rick told with serious face. Kate first didn't understand what was that supposed to mean, however it eased her heart. She put down the picture smiling, and got off the table.

'You just said, _we_ caught him... Though the credit is only yours.' he piped up again. Kate looked deeply in the sparkling blue eyes, and she realised that she could never get through this on her own...

'Believe me, Castle... Not only...' she replied. Though these few words would never be able to express the gratefulness she felt for him. And she knew it. For a few moments they were just staring at each other, then Beckett distracted her look. Her face darkened, and she observed the ground while speaking.

'My mother's killer is still at large...' Castle put down the photo too, carefully adjusting it next to Charlene's.

'Just give yourself some time.' he adviced. Kate looked at him.

'I-... I don't want _that_ to cost this many lives...' she did a leisure gesture with her hand towards the „victims" section on the board.

'You were not the one who killed them, Kate...' he started, but Beckett cut in.

'Revenge was.' she looked straight into the writer's eyes. 'When I was standing face to face with Herbert... I felt like we were holding the gun together... Adam and me.' she was completely aware how strange it sounded and she didn't expect anyone to understand. But then and there she felt it... 'Adam would've shot him, and I was the one, who kept him back.' she watched the writer's face, waiting for his reaction. Surprisingly he was more like sympathetic than puzzled.

'Castle, when I'm gonna hold the gun, who will keep me back...?' she asked. It was easy to discover the worry, or maybe fear in her voice.

The writer took a step towards her.

'You. Yourself.' he told. He could read the unsatisfaction in her eyes. 'Or if that doesn't work, just call. I will.' he flashed a smile and touched her hand gently. Beckett looked down at their crossed fingers. This answer was more stisfying – _way more satisfying..._

'Kate...'

'Castle...' they piped up at the same time.

'You start...' he intended to be a gentleman. Beckett heasitated for a few moments, observing one sea-blue eye, then the other, and she repeated the words she had already told so many times in the past few days, but she felt yet not enough:

'Thank you.' A smile appeared on both's faces. Both knew what he was going to say.

_'Always.' _after a few silent moments she asked her question.

'What did you want to say?'

'Just that...' he started like it was only some kind of small talk. But it wasn't... _'I love you too.'_

Beckett froze. She was staring at the writer with rigid look.

_So he'd heard..._ - then her lips turned into a beautiful smile, she leaned in and closed her eyes.

That infinite moment while they were kissing she was finally feeling that serenity and peace she'd been desiring. An eased feeling replaced the suffocating darkness in her heart. She knew she was never going to forget. But all the painful, horrible pictures just felt so remote and calm. The storm was gone, and nothing left, but her and the blue eyes...

They changed sparkling looks when they pulled away. In spite of how much horror they had to bear these days, now there, in each other's arms, without walls between them this was the only thing that mattered.

'You two truly have things to explain...' a voice in the doorway interrupted, which belonged to an equator-wide smiling Lanie Parish. Castle and Beckett looked at her like exposed children stealing sweets.

'One sure thing that I'll never make a pact with you again...' she added, speaking to the writer, then left the doorway with a meaningful wink.

'What kind of pact?' Kate looked at him confused. Castle put on his most innocent look.

'Nothing!' covering his totally transparent lie, and keeping Beckett from questioning, he placed another passionate kiss on her lips.

_It worked..._

**Three days later**

She put a bouquet of flower on the grave, labelled with the name of Adam Deston. For a few more moments Kate was staring at the cold marble stone before she started speaking.

'Thank you.' she was looking at the small, golden ring on her palm. 'I listened to your advice..._I've chosen true love._' she whispered and looked at the writer standing near. Then she turned back to the grave with a few last words to her old lover. 'Good bye, Adam.'

She stood up, and walked to Castle. First, he was observing her face, then his look wandered down to her fingers touching her mother's ring, hanging in her neck.

'We're going to catch him...' he said. Kate replied immediately.

'I know.' and she _ment it. _She thread the golden ring on a lace, and put it on, next to the other one. She deepened a look into Castle's blue eyes and repeated with a smile: _'I know.'_


End file.
